He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
