i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
