I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
COCAINE IS GR8
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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