I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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