When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
