I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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