Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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