im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
