But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
