Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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