my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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