You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Damn victory sex feels great
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
