the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
