hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You were trust falling into bushes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
