Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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