How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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