And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
