Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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