:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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