I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
