Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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