Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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