I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
