During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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