Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
