why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
