You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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