What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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