The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
