My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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