Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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