who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
