dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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