New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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