No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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