When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
