He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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