just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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