I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
