It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize