im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize