I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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