Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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