It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
