I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
