Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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