dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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