At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
