Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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