I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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