One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
