Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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