Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
