I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
two words...techno handjob
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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