I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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