I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize