the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
