i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Pooping to opera.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
