Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize