I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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