She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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